Timing

Ok, let's try this one more time. This will be the third time I've retyped this. The title of this blog was called timing until it ticked me off. Anyways here we go.

Have you ever noticed that God has amazing timing. Like when you least expect it and you think everything is just going to get worse it all just kinda works it's self out. I've had that kind of month. lol yeah month. I have a friend (that works in the same office with me) and she's going through a really bad break up with her girlfriend (yes you read that right and it's not a typo). So she was telling me about all the crap that's going on and then she started talking to me about how she thinks this is God's way of showing her that she's made some life choices that are wrong and that she's always felt guilty for them. Then she said "Amber, I can only put trust in the fact that God is the alpha and the omega, and that he has everything planned". And I told her that she was right, God does have everything under control. I then got to share with her how God works all things for the good of those who love him, and I know that I say that a lot but after everything I've been through I have to believe that it's true. As she told me how she had nothing left and she didn't think that she was good enough for anything anymore I simply shared Jer 29:11 with her. It's awesome to know that everything will be ok when you tell someone that. I believe that God sometimes has to take everything from us so that he can truely show us how much he loves us, and that if we'll let him he will handle everything. She is an amazing lady, with such a big heart and could be used to do so much. When I started working here I asked God to help me see them as he did. And while it's been hard, it has kept me from having a hard heart when they've done things on purpose to make my life harder. My boss is a very selfish person but I'm able to see that she's just trying to fill that void. I know that God is dealing with her. And I know that God has acutally gotten through to my friend. The last nine months here have been rather hard, not that it's a hard job, it's just hard to sit through all the immoral crap that goes on here: language, sexual comments towards me, immoral sexual comments from my friend's girl friend (that also happens to be my boss), it's just not all worth it, but then again right here in the end it is.
In other parts of my life, I'm learning that I'm really impatient, and that has created a really weird situation. And I know he's reading so I'll say it here and now, in black and white, "I'm sorry, I was wrong and I'm sorry." But you guys need to write it down because I only admit that I'm wrong about 3% percent of the time, the other 97% is for the men in my life. (lol you know I'm kidding). Anyways I'm learning that God's timing is everything, and that when I really think something is right if I'll wait it out chances are I don't even what that thing later, or if I do it's been totally worth the wait.

And last but most definatly not least, Ava will be here in about 48 hours. I'm so excited. They are going to induce on Thursday morning so as soon as I have pictures I will share. Anyways I need to go. I'm at work and getting nothing done. Talk to you guys later, FLICT you. byah.

MY GOD IS AMAZING!!!

WOW, what a weekend. Not that it was a good one, but looking back it's cool to see how at work God really is in my life. I can't believe sometimes my ignorance to the situation and how God is really using it. But looking back I can truely see how God is working. It's true that All things work together for the good of those who are called. I can't really give you details about my weekend without disclosing some of my friends personal information and hurting some feelings so I'll just give you the jest of it.

There was a situation with my best guy friend, and I was afraid it was going to end our friendship. But my God is amazing, and he worked it for the best. And it is awesome to know that someone cares that much for me and respects me that much. And now we both know that we are where we should be with each other, and that best friends is ok. We have found a love for each other that not many people get to experience.

Also I had some family in town this last weekend. And I love them so much, but this weekend was trying. And by trying I mean on my patients and spiritually. But also this weekend I realized that the things I have been through and the hardships that I have faced in my past are all for a good reason. Because God works all things for the good of those who are called. It's funny how I'm able to see situations in other peoples lives because I've already lived through them. That's just amazing to me. That something that was so horrible can be used for God's will. That's amazing to me.

Audj has been to the hospitle several times. Ava is ready to be here and the Doctors aren't ready for her yet. Audj is very ready for her to be here too. They have another Doctors appointment on Friday. Hopefully we will get Ava this weekend.

I so wish I could explain in detail everything that has happened in the last couple of weeks. But it contains a lot of people's personal lives and a lot of feelings. I was so glad for the weekend to be over and to be coming back to work. I know that's sad after a three day weekend but hey its the truth. I had posted earlier and said that everything was Blurry. Well my friend told me that God is not the author of confusion but satan is. And it's funny how much your eyes open once you realize that. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with me. Anyways I need to go. Have a great day and keep pressing on. Love you

Amber

Life is Blunt

It's a really hard fact to face when you realize that something to have believed in so much for so long is really not what you were searching for all along. Whether you've been chasing it for 6 months or 16 years, sometimes it really hurts to figure out that it's not what the chase has really been about. Does that make since? Like the dream that I've been pursuing for several years. It took me a really long time to know that my hobby wasn't who I am, it's just what I do. And then at the same time I have to realize that it's not the only thing I do, God has given me so many other talents that it's now time to pursue. Or that guy that you've been dating for awhile and it seems like there's so much there, and then one day it's just gone, and you don't really know why. But God always replaces it with something else. And always has something that you are supposed to be pursuing. Maybe it's a best friend, who wants to just make the world better when he sees you cry, and sometimes even when it doesn't fit his schedule he just knows that you need his company. Maybe it's a new dream. I guess its not really that I'm not following through with my dream it's that God had given me a new dream that really kinda ties to the old one. It's funny how I've gone from wanting to be a big corporate Woman who finds her way in a "man's world" to being completely ok with being the woman behind the amazing man of God. God made it very apparent to me that there have been several generations of "Proverbs 31" women in my family. And I do feel that I am called to be the next one. I've always been so scared that God would call me to and put me in a position that I couldn't handle. But then I realized it's not about me. God isn't my tool to take out of my box when I need him and put him back in. Actually it's quite the opposite. I'm his tool and he intends on using me in every situation. I know that the people that are in my life right now are the people that are helping to shape my life, because they are also being used as tools.

On a different note: Audj is really close to being a mommy. She had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday and they admitted her for a little while to watch her blood pressure. Then they sent her home on bed rest. Yeah, she was happy. She called me yesterday and told me she needed a spoon. When I asked her what for she said to pluck her eyeballs out because she was so bored. Anyways she has another appointment on Friday and they might induce depending on the baby's health and her blood pressure.

Last night in praise and worship was awesome. Chris being there might have had something to do with it. lol. He's the most awesome guy ever. I tell him he's my favorite. Well sometimes I tell him he's not my favorite. He's really mean to me sometimes (all in love I'm sure) but then I tell him he's not my favorite anymore. It's awesome to have someone that really listens to your problems, and really cares about your well-being. And more importantly when I won't tell him about my problems he just prays, knowing that he's put it in bigger hands. I know he is honestly a God send. I have very few friends that I'm that close to, and even fewer that I can discuss my Christian walk with.

Anyways other than just the whole Christian walk thing and yesterday being a weary day in my walk, yesterday was still pretty crappy. Mom called me right before I met up with Chris to go to church and we were talking about stuff that I'm really stressed out about and she made me cry right before he got there. Then he wanted to know what was wrong and that made me cry. It was just bad. But then I got into church and we finally got to worship and I decided to just get lost. And wow its amazing to know that God will just rescue you. That's my new favorite song, Rescue. It says:

I need you Jesus come to my rescue
Where else can I go
No other name by which I am saved
Capture me with Grace
I will follow you

That is exactly where I was at last night. Everything seems to build up around me and I just need to get out. I just needed God to form a barrier between me and the world and then for me to make to conscience statement I will go where ever you send me and do whatever you ask of me. Wow I needed last night. Anyways I have ratteled so much today. I have so much to say and so much emotion and very little time to get it all in. I just want to share everything that is happening.

Oh yeah my grandmother, who has never cut her hair in her life, is getting a hair cut this weekend. Aunt Freda and Kelly and Aunt Betty and Brittany are coming in for the event. It's going to be so awesome. Anyways I really need to go, Love ya, C ya byah.
~Amber Sheree